The Overwhelmed Brain

Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

Those “think positively” people – Little problems that lead to explosive reactions – What is a toxic person?

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Those “think positively” people – Little problems that lead to explosive reactions – What is a toxic person?
Those “think positively” people – Little problems that lead to explosive reactions – What is a toxic person?
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Those “think positively” people – Little problems that lead to explosive reactions – What is a toxic person?
October 1, 2017

If you’re one of those people who repress negativity and put on a smile to hide your upset, you are likely creating negative emotions in your body that will eventually lead to depression. If you aren’t sure what I mean, listen to segment one of today’s episode.

In segment two, I talk about how the little spats in relationships that lead to massive blowups have an origin. The unspoken words are what cause those big explosions. It’s time to connect emotionally rather than logically to diffuse the emotional bombs before they explode.

For segment three, I answer the question: What is toxic? Do we call people toxic just to avoid our own personal growth? A listener challenges me on the topic.

Blaming Others for Everything – Does time heal? – The overworking ADD partner – Hanging up on family

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Blaming Others for Everything – Does time heal? – The overworking ADD partner – Hanging up on family
Blaming Others for Everything – Does time heal? – The overworking ADD partner – Hanging up on family
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Blaming Others for Everything – Does time heal? – The overworking ADD partner – Hanging up on family
August 6, 2017

Do you blame everyone else for what happens to you in your life?

In segment one, I argue that even when everything that goes wrong in your life is someone else’s fault, you can still get the results you want by doing one thing: Accepting responsibility for your role in what happens to you.

It’s a new way to create and measure your success so that you can come up with a game plan that’s right for you. [Read more…]

Rekindling with toxic family – The long-term results of honoring yourself – Even the victim plays a role – Contact or no contact your ex

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Rekindling with toxic family – The long-term results of honoring yourself – Even the victim plays a role – Contact or no contact your ex
Rekindling with toxic family – The long-term results of honoring yourself – Even the victim plays a role – Contact or no contact your ex
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Rekindling with toxic family – The long-term results of honoring yourself – Even the victim plays a role – Contact or no contact your ex
June 18, 2017

How do you go about rekindling with toxic and/or dysfunctional family members? Is it worth “going home” and starting up those old, dysfunctional, family get-togethers again?

Is it possible to avoid the toxicity of a dysfunctional family past? There is a way to return to a toxic family environment but it’s going to take some courage to be the person you want to be with the people that have always known you the way you were. I talk about that and more in segment one.

In segment two, I read a message from someone who shares what it’s like honoring yourself. Joshua says that he’s been taking steps to stand up for himself and express his truths to people that he never has before. He is showing up as that authentic person he’s always wanted to be and things are happening for him in a way that never has.

[Read more…]

The Yeah But Mentality – Life After Abuse – Rejecting Former Friends

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The Yeah But Mentality – Life After Abuse – Rejecting Former Friends
The Yeah But Mentality – Life After Abuse – Rejecting Former Friends
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The Yeah But Mentality – Life After Abuse – Rejecting Former Friends
August 28, 2016

Ever have a friend that said “Yeah But…” to every good suggestion you made? How about when they actually ask for your advice, you give it, but they don’t do it because their excuse machine activates?

There are two types of people I talk about in the first segment: “Yeah, But” people, and “Okay, I’ll Try It” people. Sure, there are millions of other types of people out there, but it’s a good start.

Also, I receive a letter from a woman who decided to remove toxic family members from her life and get away from abuse. She took massive first steps, but what’s next? How can you recover from a life of abuse? How can you get to a place beyond where you can relax and feel good again?

Finally, I read another letting about what it might take to reject people in your life. How about those sensitive people that might be hurt by rejection? Is there a way to get away from those who keep showing up when you don’t want them to? Sounds like a great thing to talk about.

Codependency: The Subtle Erosion of Love and Connection

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Codependence is when two or more people fulfill a need for each other that strengthens a dysfunction between them.

You’ll often see this kind of dynamic between several different types of people:

  • The Rescuer and the Addict
  • The People-Pleaser and the Abuser
  • The Highly Sensitive and the Insensitive

There are many more types and they all have a complimentary nature to them. Recognizing them is usually fairly easy as well. Just look for someone who seems to give a lot to the relationship but never receives enough. Toxic relationships such as this almost always build resentment because the giver becomes tired of always trying to satisfy the needs of the taker. 

It’s the perfect imbalance of love and energy.

No matter what type of codependent relationship it is, the theme is usually the same: The dysfunctional behavior of one person supports the dysfunctional behavior of another.

Important: If you believe that you may be doing emotionally abusive behavior and would like to change that about yourself, sign up for the life-changing Healed Being program over at healedbeing.com).

If you are currently in a relationship with someone who is codependent and is hurtful to you, listen to my podcast Love and Abuse to help you navigate through the difficulties.

[Read more…]