The Overwhelmed Brain

Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

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My Healing Journey from Being an Emotional Abuser

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Emotional abuse is the ultimate brainwashing technique. It often hides in the form of feigned helplessness, generosity, compassion, and love. The perpetrator knows how to appear kind and caring while intertwining abusive behavior, causing the person on the receiving end to become powerless.

Emotional abuse is a method of controlling, manipulating, belittling, and invalidating a person over time. It is often hard to spot in the moment as it can be seen as benign or even “normal” to most observers.

But as this behavior is repeated time and time again, the insidious compound effect of this form of hidden abuse causes its victims to lose confidence in themselves, stop trusting in their own decisions, feel devalued and unimportant, and blame themselves for being the cause of, and sometimes even deserving, of the abusive behavior.

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    Filed Under: Abandonment, Blog article, Divorce, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Healing, Emotional Withdrawal, Empathy, Judgment, Manipulation, Marriage, Narcissism, Relationships, Toxic Behavior, Toxic Thinking Tagged With: Am I emotionally abusive?, Can the emotional abuser change?, how do I stop being emotionally abusive?

    Self-help variety – Pushy people, jealousy, body image, self-worth, self-esteem, intrusive thoughts, and more!

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    Self-help variety – Pushy people, jealousy, body image, self-worth, self-esteem, intrusive thoughts and more!
    Self-help variety – Pushy people, jealousy, body image, self-worth, self-esteem, intrusive thoughts and more!
    Episode play icon
    Self-help variety – Pushy people, jealousy, body image, self-worth, self-esteem, intrusive thoughts and more!
    December 23, 2018
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    In this episode of The Overwhelmed Brain podcast, I  answer several questions ranging from overcoming jealousy, people that impose their values on you, what affects your self-worth and self-esteem, getting over insecurities about body comments, letting go of intrusive, distressing thoughts, expressing yourself and more!

    It’s the variety episode on emotional intelligence. I hope you get a lot of value from it. 

    Filed Under: Ask Paul, Insecurity, Jealousy, Judgment, Rejection, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Toxic Thinking, Values Tagged With: distressing thoughts, Getting over insecurity about body comments, intrusive thoughts, Overcoming Jealousy, self help

    I’m right you’re wrong: The sides we take that create division and distress

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    I’m right you’re wrong: The sides we take that create division and distress
    I’m right you’re wrong: The sides we take that create division and distress
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    I’m right you’re wrong: The sides we take that create division and distress
    October 14, 2018
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    If they’re not like you, you don’t like them. If you’re not like them, they don’t like you.

    You have opinions, so do they, but should your differences separate you and cause you so much stress that you would rather lose relationships than accept people for their differences?

    This is a full episode with many angles, including social awkwardness and social anxiety.

    Filed Under: anger, anxiety, Ask Paul, Communication, Judgment Tagged With: social anxiety, taking sides with people, what to do about social awkwardness

    Stop believing what hurtful people say to you: Transforming negative self-talk to empowerment

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    Stop believing what hurtful people say to you: Transforming negative self-talk to empowerment
    Stop believing what hurtful people say to you: Transforming negative self-talk to empowerment
    Episode play icon
    Stop believing what hurtful people say to you: Transforming negative self-talk to empowerment
    September 30, 2018
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    Hurtful people do a really good job of causing us to feel bad about ourselves.

    Not only that, we end up repeating what they said or did to us in our mind over and over again. The emotional trauma can last for months or years.

    In this episode I help transform the hurtful messages from others into empowering declarations that help us move on see them for who they really are.

    Filed Under: Ask Paul, Healthy Thinking, Identity, Insecurity, Judgment, Podcast Episode, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Thinking, Toxic People, Toxic Thinking Tagged With: stop believing hurtful people, transforming negative self-talk into empowerment

    Controlling upset toward others – Feeding dysfunctional people – Full commitment then re-evaluation

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    Controlling upset toward others – Feeding dysfunctional people – Full commitment then re-evaluation
    Controlling upset toward others – Feeding dysfunctional people – Full commitment then re-evaluation
    Episode play icon
    Controlling upset toward others – Feeding dysfunctional people – Full commitment then re-evaluation
    February 18, 2018
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    When you get angry, frustrated or upset toward someone else, how quickly do you recover? Would you like to recover faster and get into a better space?

    In segment one, I go over the five questions you can ask yourself that might just bring you out of the bad feeling you’re in. For segment two, I share how you might be feeding the dysfunctions of others in your life. If you feed someone else’s dysfunction, they’ll continue to show up in a way you don’t like over and over again.

    In segment three, I talk about commitment and how just because you signed up for life, doesn’t mean you have to see it through – especially if the person you’re with has changed the rules and isn’t keeping up with their end of the bargain.

    Filed Under: anger, Ask Paul, Behavior, Codependency, Control, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, enabling, Family, Human Potential, Judgment, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Toxic People Tagged With: Commitment to commitment, Enabling Abusive People, enabling dysfunctional people, Enabling Toxic Behavior, Turning anger and upset around

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