The Overwhelmed Brain

Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

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Those “think positively” people – Little problems that lead to explosive reactions – What is a toxic person?

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Those “think positively” people – Little problems that lead to explosive reactions – What is a toxic person?
Those “think positively” people – Little problems that lead to explosive reactions – What is a toxic person?
Episode play icon
Those “think positively” people – Little problems that lead to explosive reactions – What is a toxic person?
October 1, 2017

If you’re one of those people who repress negativity and put on a smile to hide your upset, you are likely creating negative emotions in your body that will eventually lead to depression. If you aren’t sure what I mean, listen to segment one of today’s episode.

In segment two, I talk about how the little spats in relationships that lead to massive blowups have an origin. The unspoken words are what cause those big explosions. It’s time to connect emotionally rather than logically to diffuse the emotional bombs before they explode.

For segment three, I answer the question: What is toxic? Do we call people toxic just to avoid our own personal growth? A listener challenges me on the topic.

Filed Under: abuse, anger, anxiety, Ask Paul, Control, Depression, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Family, Human Potential, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Overwhelm, Physical Health, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Thinking, Toxic People, Victim Mentality Tagged With: Little problems that lead to explosive reactions, Those "think positively" people, What is a toxic person?

The no-win conversation – Lashing out at others – Blame the cheater not yourself

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The no-win conversation – Lashing out at others – Blame the cheater not yourself
The no-win conversation – Lashing out at others – Blame the cheater not yourself
Episode play icon
The no-win conversation – Lashing out at others – Blame the cheater not yourself
September 10, 2017

Does your partner corner you into a no-win situation? Do they ask you questions that make you wrong no matter what you say?

In the first segment, I talk about double binds in relationships and a couple of ways to get out of the no-win questioning that often happens in both non-abusive and abusive relationships.

For segment 2, I discuss lashing out and where it comes from. Are they new emotions that seem to originate in the moment or are they old, stored emotions that derived from a single point in time?

[Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, anger, Ask Paul, Betrayal, Control, Divorce, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Family, Human Potential, Infidelity, Lying, Manipulation, Marriage, Narcissism, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Sex, Toxic People Tagged With: Blame the cheater not yourself, Lashing out at others, The no-win conversation

See me, Judge me – The Distant Partner with the Needy Partner – Stop Oversharing – What is No Contact?

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See me, Judge me – Is your opinion really that important?- Stop Oversharing – What is No Contact?
See me, Judge me – Is your opinion really that important?- Stop Oversharing – What is No Contact?
Episode play icon
See me, Judge me – Is your opinion really that important?- Stop Oversharing – What is No Contact?
August 20, 2017

Four topics in this episode: A listener calls me smug and superior, a woman with emotional needs is seeing a man with intimacy issues, a listener can’t stop oversharing her life with complete strangers and I talk about what it means to go full no contact from your ex. 

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Abandonment, abuse, Control, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Human Potential, Judgment, Manipulation, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth Tagged With: Emotional Abuse, Judge me, Stop Oversharing, The Distant Partner with the Needy Partner, verbal abuse, What is No Contact?

Trusting Your Gut – Can You Reconcile with Someone You’ve Hurt – Making Decisions Easier

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Trusting Your Gut – Can You Reconcile with Someone You’ve Hurt – Making Decisions Easier
Trusting Your Gut – Can You Reconcile with Someone You’ve Hurt – Making Decisions Easier
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Trusting Your Gut – Can You Reconcile with Someone You’ve Hurt – Making Decisions Easier
August 13, 2017

Do you trust your gut? Do you want to?

In segment one, I share how I almost got conned by a store clerk and how I used my instinct to keep from getting deceived (and calling him out at the same time).

[Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, Control, Deception, Decisions, Divorce, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Manipulation, Marriage, Obsession, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Toxic People Tagged With: Easy way to make decisions, Reconciling with someone you've hurt, trusting your instincts

Blaming Others for Everything – Does time heal? – The overworking ADD partner – Hanging up on family

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Blaming Others for Everything – Does time heal? – The overworking ADD partner – Hanging up on family
Blaming Others for Everything – Does time heal? – The overworking ADD partner – Hanging up on family
Episode play icon
Blaming Others for Everything – Does time heal? – The overworking ADD partner – Hanging up on family
August 6, 2017

Do you blame everyone else for what happens to you in your life?

In segment one, I argue that even when everything that goes wrong in your life isĀ someone else’s fault, you can still get the results you want by doing one thing: Accepting responsibility for your role in what happens to you.

It’s a new way to create and measure your success so that you can come up with a game plan that’s right for you. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Abandonment, anxiety, Control, Depression, enabling, Family, Marriage, Rejection, Relationships, Toxic People, Victim Mentality Tagged With: Blaming Others for Everything, Does time heal?, Hanging up on family, The overworking ADD partner

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