The Overwhelmed Brain

Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

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Don’t Want You in My Mind – Spouse’s Parents Don’t Like Me – Most Important Relationship Lessons – Standing in Other’s Shoes

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Don’t Want You in My Mind – Spouse’s Parents Don’t Like Me – Most Important Relationship Lessons – Standing in Other’s Shoes
Don’t Want You in My Mind – Spouse’s Parents Don’t Like Me – Most Important Relationship Lessons – Standing in Other’s Shoes
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Don’t Want You in My Mind – Spouse’s Parents Don’t Like Me – Most Important Relationship Lessons – Standing in Other’s Shoes
April 23, 2017
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What is it with pervasive thoughts about people you don’t particularly care about? You already don’t want to see them in person, so how do you keep them from appearing in your mind?

In segment one of today’s show, I read a letter from a woman who can’t get her husband’s ex-wife out of her mind. How do you get rid of consistent, unwelcome thoughts like this?

How can you finally rid yourself of that one persistent thought in your mind’s eye? I have a few suggestions.  

[Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, Ask Paul, Beliefs, Compassion, Control, Divorce, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Family, Human Potential, Judgment, Manipulation, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Thinking, Toxic People Tagged With: Don't Want You in My Mind, Most Important Relationship Lessons, Spouse's Parents Don't Like Me, Standing in Other's Shoes

What are Guilt and Shame – Fearing Rejection and Abandonment – Solving All Your Problems

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What are Guilt and Shame – Fearing Rejection and Abandonment – Solving All Your Problems
What are Guilt and Shame – Fearing Rejection and Abandonment – Solving All Your Problems
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What are Guilt and Shame – Fearing Rejection and Abandonment – Solving All Your Problems
April 16, 2017
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Guilt and shame are two battles in two different dimensions: Internal and external.

Internally, you can feel guilt for something you’ve said or done. Externally, you can feel shame by being the recipient of other people’s judging and blaming.

In this episode, a listener asks me the difference between the two so I do my best to explain how I see it.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Abandonment, Ask Paul, Dysfunction, Fears, Guilt, Human Potential, Loneliness, Loss, Manipulation, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Podcast Episode, Regret, Rejection, Relationships, Shame Tagged With: Fearing Rejection and Abandonment, Solving All Your Problems, What are Guilt and Shame

Failing the Challenge – Silent Abuse in Relationships – Depressed and Unmotivated – Appreciating What Works

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Failing the Challenge – Silent Abuse in Relationships – Depressed and Unmotivated – Appreciating What Works
Failing the Challenge – Silent Abuse in Relationships – Depressed and Unmotivated – Appreciating What Works
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Failing the Challenge – Silent Abuse in Relationships – Depressed and Unmotivated – Appreciating What Works
March 26, 2017
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What do you do when you have to face a challenge that you believe you’re prepared for, but fail instead?

The feelings of failure can be debilitating, especially when you’ve spent a lot of time and energy working on self-improvement. It can feel like you’ve taken 10 steps backward. Learning comes with the challenge of applying what you’ve learned, so expect challenges to be just more than you think you’re prepared for.

When you have the tools, the challenge will come.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, Ask Paul, Control, Depression, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Human Potential, Manipulation, Negative Emotions, Overwhelm, Physical Health, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Toxic People Tagged With: Appreciating Your Body, Depressed and Unmotivated, Emotional Abuse, Failing Challenges, Silent Abuse, verbal abuse

Overcoming General Unease – When Nothing Works Out in Life – Questioning Trust in Relationships

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Overcoming General Unease – When Nothing Works Out in Life – Questioning Trust in Relationships
Overcoming General Unease – When Nothing Works Out in Life – Questioning Trust in Relationships
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Overcoming General Unease – When Nothing Works Out in Life – Questioning Trust in Relationships
March 5, 2017
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In part one of this special three-part article, I dive into the underlying currents of fear, anxiety, and discomfort that can shadow our everyday lives, influencing decisions and interactions, particularly with toxic individuals.

These choices, often made to avoid conflict, can lead to a cycle of unhappiness and fulfillment. I explore the concept of “taking the bullet”—making tough, pivotal decisions that can either perpetuate misery or halt it altogether.

In part two, I address the despair that comes from a life where everything seems to lead to more pain and toxicity, questioning what to do when all seems lost and when your past is marred by abuse and neglect. There is a way of rewriting your future, regardless of past hardships.

In part three, I talk about the importance of building trust in relationships. This journey involves making definitive choices and moving toward closure about things you feel like you can’t let go. Closure allows for a shift from a life of turmoil to one of peace and fulfillment.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Ask Paul, Betrayal, Decisions, Divorce, Human Potential, Lying, Manipulation, Marriage, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Toxic People Tagged With: General Unease, Nothing's Working, Questioning Trust

The Abused Mind and Mixed Signals in Relationships – Still Mourning – Overcoming Your Overwhelmed Brain

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The Abused Mind in Relationships – A Listener Gets Cheated On And Kicked Out – Wanting Others To Do What You Believe is Right
The Abused Mind in Relationships – A Listener Gets Cheated On And Kicked Out – Wanting Others To Do What You Believe is Right
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The Abused Mind in Relationships – A Listener Gets Cheated On And Kicked Out – Wanting Others To Do What You Believe is Right
March 6, 2016
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Sexual and physical abuse survivors develop an abused mindset which they take into relationships. This mindset sets them up to be strung along and tolerate bad behavior. Often, former abuse victims end up with abusers in intimate relationships.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, Ask Paul, Control, Depression, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Human Potential, Loneliness, Loss, Manipulation, Mourning, Overwhelm, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Thinking, Values Tagged With: Emotional Abuse, Mixed Signals in Relationships, Overcoming Your Overwhelmed Brain, Still Mourning Over Loss, The Abused Mind, verbal abuse

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