The Overwhelmed Brain

Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

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Resolving Before New Years – Are You The Problem – Free Will or Destiny – Planning Your New Year

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Resolving Before New Years – Are You The Problem – Free Will or Destiny – Get Ready for Next Year
Resolving Before New Years – Are You The Problem – Free Will or Destiny – Get Ready for Next Year
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Resolving Before New Years – Are You The Problem – Free Will or Destiny – Get Ready for Next Year
December 31, 2017

Segment 1. Resolving issues before New Year’s resolutions is a better practice for some people.

If you have trouble keeping your resolutions, perhaps it’s time to change when you make them. [Read more…]

Filed Under: anger, Behavior, Communication, Control, Decisions, Depression, Divorce, Human Potential, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Relationships, Thinking, Toxic People, Values, Worry Tagged With: Are You The Problem?, Free Will or Destiny, Planning Your New Year, Resolving Before New Years

Guilt stops growth – Dad’s new girlfriend – Enabling the freeloader

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Guilt stops growth – Dad’s new girlfriend – Enabling the freeloader
Guilt stops growth – Dad’s new girlfriend – Enabling the freeloader
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Guilt stops growth – Dad’s new girlfriend – Enabling the freeloader
October 8, 2017

When you feel guilty for wanting to leave your partner because of their bad behavior, it’s time to transform that guilt into something more productive. Some partner’s set you up to feel guilty so you’ll never leave. This is called emotional abuse and it’s time to put a stop to it.

In segment two, I read a message from a woman who lost her mom. A few months later her dad wanted to be with someone new. His daughter didn’t like that at all and cannot get past that he could possibly do that so soon.

What happens when you lose a parent and the one left behind wants to date again? Can you support them or are you vehemently against it?

[Read more…]

Filed Under: anger, Ask Paul, Codependency, Control, Divorce, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, enabling, Family, Forgiveness, Guilt, Marriage, Relationships, Values Tagged With: Do you allow people to take advantage of you?, Does your partner make you feel guilty?, When a parent starts dating "too soon"

Those “think positively” people – Little problems that lead to explosive reactions – What is a toxic person?

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Those “think positively” people – Little problems that lead to explosive reactions – What is a toxic person?
Those “think positively” people – Little problems that lead to explosive reactions – What is a toxic person?
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Those “think positively” people – Little problems that lead to explosive reactions – What is a toxic person?
October 1, 2017

If you’re one of those people who repress negativity and put on a smile to hide your upset, you are likely creating negative emotions in your body that will eventually lead to depression. If you aren’t sure what I mean, listen to segment one of today’s episode.

In segment two, I talk about how the little spats in relationships that lead to massive blowups have an origin. The unspoken words are what cause those big explosions. It’s time to connect emotionally rather than logically to diffuse the emotional bombs before they explode.

For segment three, I answer the question: What is toxic? Do we call people toxic just to avoid our own personal growth? A listener challenges me on the topic.

Filed Under: abuse, anger, anxiety, Ask Paul, Control, Depression, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Family, Human Potential, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Overwhelm, Physical Health, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Thinking, Toxic People, Victim Mentality Tagged With: Little problems that lead to explosive reactions, Those "think positively" people, What is a toxic person?

The no-win conversation – Lashing out at others – Blame the cheater not yourself

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The no-win conversation – Lashing out at others – Blame the cheater not yourself
The no-win conversation – Lashing out at others – Blame the cheater not yourself
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The no-win conversation – Lashing out at others – Blame the cheater not yourself
September 10, 2017

Does your partner corner you into a no-win situation? Do they ask you questions that make you wrong no matter what you say?

In the first segment, I talk about double binds in relationships and a couple of ways to get out of the no-win questioning that often happens in both non-abusive and abusive relationships.

For segment 2, I discuss lashing out and where it comes from. Are they new emotions that seem to originate in the moment or are they old, stored emotions that derived from a single point in time?

[Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, anger, Ask Paul, Betrayal, Control, Divorce, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Family, Human Potential, Infidelity, Lying, Manipulation, Marriage, Narcissism, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Sex, Toxic People Tagged With: Blame the cheater not yourself, Lashing out at others, The no-win conversation

Does Authenticity Make You Cringe – Getting Past Your Partner’s Past – Building Rapport with People

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Does Authenticity Make You Cringe – Getting Past Your Partner’s Past – Building Rapport with People
Does Authenticity Make You Cringe – Getting Past Your Partner’s Past – Building Rapport with People
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Does Authenticity Make You Cringe – Getting Past Your Partner’s Past – Building Rapport with People
June 25, 2017

When someone expresses themselves to you, do you cringe at the thought of you doing the same? Does the idea of sharing what they’re sharing make you feel uncomfortable? Does it stop you from living life the way you want with authenticity and confidence?

If you feel uncomfortable or shy when someone shares something vulnerable with you, that may be a sign that something could use some healing in you, if you want to explore it. It’s a great way to tell just what you need to work on in yourself.

Full expression can make you feel lighter and stronger at the same time, but it isn’t always easy to show up authentically.

In the second segment, I read a letter from someone I call Larry. He said he can’t get his girlfriend’s two-night stand out of his head. Even though that relationship ended way before Larry met her, he still has an issue with it.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, anger, Ask Paul, Control, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Human Potential, Jealousy, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Sex, Vulnerability Tagged With: building rapport, cringing at your own authenticity, your partner's past

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