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Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

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Identifying Your Sense of Self – Overcoming the Guilt of Leaving the Emotional Abuser – Diminishing Emotional Triggers

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Identifying Your Sense of Self – Overcoming the Guilt of Leaving the Emotional Abuser – Diminishing Emotional Triggers
Identifying Your Sense of Self – Overcoming the Guilt of Leaving the Emotional Abuser – Diminishing Emotional Triggers
Episode play icon
Identifying Your Sense of Self – Overcoming the Guilt of Leaving the Emotional Abuser – Diminishing Emotional Triggers
June 4, 2017

Your sense of self and identity can dissolve or even be rewritten over years of trauma, abuse, and/or dysfunction.

Dis-integration can happen after a lifetime of challenges that you haven’t yet healed from, causing you to feel scattered and feel like you have no purpose.

When you don’t have a strong emotional foundation, the hard times are harder and you feel beat up and burnt out almost all the time so it’s important to establish who you are.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, anger, Ask Paul, Control, Divorce, Ego, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Guilt, Human Potential, Identity, Marriage, Podcast Episode, Rejection, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth Tagged With: Diminishing Emotional Triggers, Emotional Abuse, How do I know if I'm being emotionally abused?, Identifying Your Sense of Self, Overcoming the Guilt of Leaving the Emotional Abuser, verbal abuse, What is emotional abuse?

The Silent Treatment – How Emotional Withdrawal Dissolves Love

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We’ve all done it. At one time or another, you’ve emotionally withdrawn from someone who set off some sort of emotional trigger in you.

The Silent Treatment is a protection mechanism that kicks in when you feel hurt, unsafe, or triggered in some way. When someone does or says something that betrays your values, morals, or beliefs, you may withdraw and put on your “emotional armor.”

Some information may be so hard to accept or understand that you just want to slip back into your shell so that you can process it and figure out what to do next.

Important: If you believe that you may be doing emotionally abusive behavior and would like to change that about yourself, sign up for the life-changing Healed Being program over at healedbeing.com).

If you are currently in a relationship with someone who uses the silent treatment to make you feel guilty or sad, listen to my podcast Love and Abuse to help you navigate through the difficulties.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, anger, Behavior, Codependency, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Human Potential, Manipulation, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Podcast Episode, Relationships Tagged With: Dealing with Emotional Withdrawal, How do I deal with the silent treatment?, I'm getting the silent treatment from my girlfriend, The Silent Treatment, What is the silent treatment?

How to Deal with Highly Defensive People

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defensive people

Highly defensive people are very sensitive to certain subjects causing them to go into a sort of fight or flight response. After all, why jump into a defensive posture unless you think there’s a threat? 

The threat is typically not realistic, but that’s only an outsider’s perspective because to the person with the defensive behavior, the threat could be very real to them. But what exactly are they threatened by?

I received a letter from a listener that was dealing with a defensive person at work. Her coworker would get very defensive whenever anyone would talk about “controversial subjects” around her. The letter writer didn’t tell me exactly which controversial subjects were being discussed, but I could only assume that they were the typical ones that most people have a very staunch opinion on. 

[Read more…]

Filed Under: anger, Behavior, Beliefs, Conflict, Negative Emotions, Personal Boundaries Tagged With: Always so argumentative, defensive people, My partner is always overreacting to everything, Why is he so defensive all the time?

The Process of Self-Sabotage – You Don’t Have to Forgive Everyone – Anxiety All The Time

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The Process of Self-Sabotage – You don’t have to forgive everyone – Anxiety all the time
The Process of Self-Sabotage – You don’t have to forgive everyone – Anxiety all the time
Episode play icon
The Process of Self-Sabotage – You don’t have to forgive everyone – Anxiety all the time
May 1, 2016

Why do we fall off course so easily? When you prioritize tasks that take your time away from the things you want to accomplish, you fall back farther and farther until you are no longer making progress. In fact, you might even end up going backward.

Sometimes you are not in alignment with a bigger vision for yourself. The reason is that you might actually have a value hidden under the surface that you didn’t even know was there. I talk about this self-sabotaging behavior in segment one of this episode.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: anger, anxiety, Ask Paul, Dysfunction, Family, Forgiveness, Guilt, Human Potential, Infidelity, Lying, Manipulation, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Physical Health, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Shame, Values, Worry Tagged With: Anxiety All The Time, The Process of Self-Sabotage, You Don't Have to Forgive Everyone

Eliminating Negative Memories – The Yin Yang of Masculine and Feminine – Emotional Detachment

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Eliminating Negative Memories, the Yin Yang of Masculine and Feminine, and Emotional Detachment
Eliminating Negative Memories, the Yin Yang of Masculine and Feminine, and Emotional Detachment
Episode play icon
Eliminating Negative Memories, the Yin Yang of Masculine and Feminine, and Emotional Detachment
November 8, 2015

Segment one: Our emotions are attached to our memories. Our memories are attached to people and stuff. It’s that stuff that we hold on to that sometimes makes us feel bad, so why do we still have it in our lives? Pictures are a great example of this. Why keep pictures that make you feel bad?

Segment two: In any relationship, the role of masculine is typically played by one person and the role of the feminine is played by the other. The problem occurs when one person likes the role they’re in and the other doesn’t. Knowing your role and what best works for the relationship will create a harmonious get-together as opposed to one of conflict.

Segment three: In this final segment, I talk a bit about detaching from your emotions. Being emotionally detached can make your partner think that you don’t love them which can be one of the worst feelings in the world.

Stop anxiety when it starts with The S.A.F.E. Empowerment System

Filed Under: anger, Communication, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Healing, Emotional Triggers, Emotional Withdrawal, Family, Femininity, Healthy Thinking, Marriage, Masculinity, Negative Emotions, Podcast Episode, Relationships Tagged With: Eliminating Negative Memories, Seems so emotionally detached, the Yin Yang of Masculine and Feminine

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